Man plans, the gods laugh

Prom is one of those things where I'm far enough removed that I don't know how much of what I see in the media to believe. However, I'm very willing to laff at today's Zits because I think moms caring about it more than the kids is probably a constant.

My own prom was a few months over half a century ago, and not particularly typical even then, since we were in such an isolated rural community.

We didn't rent tuxes, there being no place or great motivation to do so, and a lot of the girls made their own dresses and did a good job of it, since sewing was still an essential skill. And there being no florist in the area, we ordered our flowers through the local funeral home.

I wish I still had pictures, because I doubled with a pal, both our dates were excellent seamstresses and we all four of us cleaned up real good.

I guess city kids had fancy places to go for dinner first and afterproms later and so forth but it wasn't on our radar. We had a nice dance and then went home.

When my own boys came to prom time, they did rent tuxes, the prom was at the Elks Club and then they went to someone's house for an overnight and we didn't ask and they didn't tell but I only knew of one after-prom that got out of hand and it wasn't either of theirs.

And the one granddaughter I've seen go through the process so far had some kind of pre-prom at a friend's house that resulted in a lot of pictures of people in fancy clothes laughing on a large green lawn with a view of the mountains and I never saw any pictures from the actual prom. Other than the clothes, it looked very informal and like a lot of fun.

All of which seems pretty far from stretch limos and kabillion dollar wretched excess.

OTOH, before we left Colorado for Northern New York, eldest son had started high school at a school where Wretched Excess was the default, and you could tell the student parking lot from the teachers parking lot because the teachers didn't drive BMWs and Hummers, so I don't doubt that some of the stories are true.

But I was glad to get him out of there anyway, on accounta prom is just the tip of that iceberg.

As if to follow up on that, Alex points out where all this wretched excess leads, because of course it's not sustainable and you can't all live like that into your 30s, no matter how much social pressure there is to do so.

And while you're filling Facebook with pictures of What A Really Good Time You're All Having, I'd suggest you put one of those red Solo cups aside to collect spare change in when you're too old to work and too poor to quit.

I have 60-something contemporaries who are traveling around enjoying retirement, but I've got others who are working at menial jobs because they need the income and the health coverage.

The lucky ones have lived in one place long enough that their houses are paid off and they only have to sweat land taxes and utilities, but even that can put a hole in a $1,400 a month Social Security check and not everyone gets that much. And who stays put that long anymore?

One of my dog park friends who is in her 80s and financially okay has a miniature schnauzer for whom she buys little cans of wet dog food and she confessed the other day that she hates to buy them without a lot of other groceries, because she's sure people will think she's getting them for herself.

She laughed, but I don't know how funny it's going to be when the Millennials start turning gray.

Speaking of dogs and the dog park, I saved Bizarro for last because otherwise the rant would fill my allotted word count on its own.

The gag itself is funny and my ridgeback is of a color called "wheaten," so I'm sure he's risky as well.

But much of the humor here is that most shelters put you through a real wringer before they let you adopt, including home inspections, references and things like a requirement to have a fenced yard (which I do not).

That's good for avoiding hastily-considered adoptions, but many of the same shelters are so keen on getting dogs placed that they are less concerned about matching dogs and owners.

Specifically, we constantly see young pit bull mixes at the park and it's commonplace to hear that they're gentle as long as they are socialized early.

And, truly, they are funny, delightful, cuddly energy bolts until they mature.

So are tiger cubs.

It's not that pit-mixes become vicious, but they gradually become "toy jealous" or overly protective or they don't like to be approached in a certain way, and then they disappear from public, sometimes after an ugly incident.

It's a shame, because the people who adopted them had good intentions and were given bad information.

Saying a pit bull won't become pugnacious unless he's trained to be is like saying a Lab won't chase a ball or jump in the water unless it's taught to.

I can count on one hand the pit mixes over three years old who still come to our park, and that's a fact, not an opinion.

I once had a fear-biter that I loved, but that had to be constantly watched over and closely controlled. That's not the dog-owning experience most people want.

That was an accident of his personality. It's not an accident when it's the forseeable outcome of acquiring a particular type of dog.

I like responsible owners.

I also like responsible shelters.

And, dammit, it's not just about making sure people have a fenced yard.

And are, y'know, gluten tolerant.

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I suppose there are gluten-sensitive puppies out there; one hopes they aren't getting adopted by the people who decide their dog or cat is vegan.
When I first heard the tease for this story on the TV news, I expected another story about ever so precious pet owners:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/04/25/pet-dog-has-sex-change-rare-operation-vets-discovered-hermaphrodite/

Posted by: Paul Berge | 05/08/2017 at 08:34 AM