I'll be off to vote as soon as I finish up here, and I hope you vote, too, but I've had enough of the talk. If you haven't made up your mind by now you may not have a mind to make up, so what's the point?
And as the Dogs of C-Kennel note, it's been pretty futile all along anyway.
So never mind, but let's not drop the topic so quickly that we get the bends. We'll detox with Pros & Cons and a little gentle self-mockery for those of us who do, indeed, spend most of the day on the computer, my pretty good excuse being that I make a living there.
Which is a good thing.
The topic of phone interviews came up the other day, and it reminded me of a time I was trying to get out of a job in New York State that had gone toxic, and I had two or three substantial (45 minutes or longer), very pleasant interviews with a woman in Spokane, Washington, who seemed on the verge of making me an offer and who then, in the third interview, told me that she was moving to Dallas, and that the person to whom she was currently reporting was about to retire.
This left me with the prospect of moving 2,615 miles to take up a job working for a person who hadn't hired me and who reported to another person who had also not been a party to my being hired.
A younger person might have stayed in the running, on the basis of being mobile and adventurous and a complete fool. I was still somewhat adventurous and mobile but had already been through the "new boss" thing twice, so I withdrew from consideration.
Today (two jobs and two moves later), I find that telecommuting for someone I knew for a dozen years before she hired me for this gig may not yield a lot of three-dimensional friends, but at least I haven't had to disassemble furniture or raid the liquor store for boxes.
I think somebody is a wee bit envious.
Now let's go ahead and piss off some people
A special salute to Dave Whamond for spelling "Caitlin" correctly in the spot where he references the spelling of "Caitlin" in today's Reality Check.
Yesterday, I overheard a mother giving her very-small child's name to a receptionist, pronouncing it "Anna" with broad A's as if she were German, but then spelling it: A-H-N-N-A-H, thus converting one of the easiest names to spell into something the poor kid will have to spell constantly for the rest of her life.
Certain names will always demand to be spelled -- If you go by Kathy, people will spell it Cathy and vice-versa -- though I'm still not clear on why someone who isn't stridently Irish would saddle a kid with "Siobhan."
I remember an Irish woman I interviewed who was an immigrant and had given her daughter an obscure name from Irish mythology, then admitted that she had always wanted a daughter with that name but assumed it would happen in Ulster, not Colorado.
"Poor kid," she sighed.
And today's Reality Check reminds me of a Baby Blues from 2004 on the topic of creative naming that continues to crack me up, though the names have changed over the years.
The creative spelling thing, which I've mentioned before, puzzles me particularly since it seems little girls, more often than little boys, are given names that will be cute when they are four but won't sit that well on an adult. Or at least, not on an adult who is not also a golden retriever.
This, however, is not a topic with which to mess.
Carolyn Hax had a (repeat) column yesterday about a woman who went by her middle name because she had a speech impediment that made it impossible for her to pronounce her first name. And 30 years after she made that change, her mother was still upset with her and continually brought up the betrayal.
And note that she didn't come up with a whole new name: What was wrong with the middle name her parents had given her? I mean, other than being easier to pronounce.
So as long as I'm pissing people off and deflating things, let me also add that the name "Caitlin" is a diminutive of "Cait," which, in native Irish, is pronounced "Hotsh" with a gutterall initial H as found in Yiddish, and so "Caitlin" is pronounced "Hotshlinn."
I recommend spelling it that way: "Hotshlinn" and then getting righteously pissed if people don't pronounce it "Kaitlyn."
And as long as I'm being a killjoy and jerk
Today's Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal (Read the rest at GoComics) is amusing but based on a false concept: The call at the start of a wedding for objections has nothing to do with whether you agree that it's a good match.
It's a final call for anyone to provide proof that, for instance, the groom is already married to someone else -- That there is a legal, objective reason the marriage should not take place.
So it is, in fact, binary: Either they are legally free to marry or they are not.
Cripes, if it were a call for subjective judgments from the Peanut Gallery, we wouldn't any of us ever get married.
I'm not saying that would be a bad thing, mind you.
I tell you, I don't get no respect.
I saw an ad for a hotel chain that promised that, if you booked a room there, you would get nightly turndowns.
Who needs to go to a hotel? I can get those at home. (bad-a-boom)
Though maybe the mint on the pillow is a hint. (bad-a-boom)
Among wiser beings
Having tackled dog philosophy last week, Existential Comics now takes on the topic of Cat Philosophy. It's worth going to the site and reading the whole thing.
Okay, I'm off to help decide the fate of the world. Hope you'll join me.
Since I'm on the road today, I helped decide the fate of the world three days ago. You didn't feel the Earth tremble when I slipped my ballot into the slot? Anyway, thanks for not wallowing in the topic, that's what the rest of the Internet and All Media are for today.
My last name is unusual enough that I truly don't care how people mispronounce or misspell it. "Feez" is right; I usually get "fyes" but also "fries, files, freeze, fless, fee-ess." I've heard, and will answer to, them all. An unexpected benefit is that it's an easy instant filter to tell whether someone actually knows me or not. If I pick up the phone and hear "Mr. Fries" we'll be having a very short conversation.
I'll be sharing your "Katelyn" comic because my girls have a friend by that name and I have misspelled it, to their minor irritation. Parents can be dopes. Knowing that we'd be unavoidably saddling our daughters with a weird surname, we made sure to give them common first and middle names for them to choose among. Handicapping a kid right out of the gate is unkind.
Posted by: Brian Fies | 11/08/2016 at 08:33 AM
When I was in 5th grade (I think we had electricity by then ...), there were 5 students with the name David. So for that grade, I became Michael - my middle name. Just a short period of 10 months. To this day (I am now 63), if I am in a room and someone shouts out "Michael?" ... I still turn my head. Amazing how much that imprinted on me.
I leave to vote in about 30 minutes ...
Posted by: Dave from Philadelphia | 11/08/2016 at 02:04 PM
One part of my job is to generate legal documentation for many of the 9000+ millennials who work here. When I need to look up some of these folks on the internal info web the spellings of the Caitlins, Brittanys and Megans often elicit a "Well, now isn't THAT clever, ha ha ha grumble grumble." Then there are the people here whose "company name" has absolutely NO relationship to their legal given name. Also more and more name pronunciation guides have been appearing and not for employees from the parts of the world where names of 8 syllables and 22 letters are common but for names like Hannah...(HAH-nah). And I have been having to spell my own name for people since I was old enough to spell it for myself. Please, Lord, let me retire...
Posted by: parnellnelson | 11/08/2016 at 02:19 PM
It's pronounced P as in psychiatrist, A as in leap, U as in guide, L as in folk.
I turn my head whenever I don't hear anything.
Posted by: Paul | 11/08/2016 at 02:52 PM
Brian, I suggest you start referring to your daughters' friends as "Hotshlinn" with some real chutzpah in that first syllable. See how their parents respond and let me know.
Posted by: Mike Peterson | 11/08/2016 at 05:08 PM
I have used my middle name since I was a wee one. When I turned 65, I found that Social Security, and thus all the insurance companies, insist upon using my undesired first name. There's no fighting them. I tried writing my congressman about it, and got nothing in return, not even a form letter. Bah.
Posted by: Boise Ed | 11/08/2016 at 05:26 PM
I voted the first day Medina County had early voting - weeks ago. Got it over with !
Favorite actress : Fionaluala Flanagan. I'm sure I'm misspelling it (I KNOW there's a "u" in there somewhere) and have no idea how to pronounce it. The first name, I mean.
(Senator Bankhead's daughter was named after a tribe of native Americans from the region where she was born.)
Posted by: Mary in Ohio | 11/08/2016 at 06:30 PM
SMBC did a comic about oddball names just a few days ago: http://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/naming-trends
It's worth noting that the SMBC schedule at GoComics appears to have nothing to do with the actual SMBC website.
Posted by: Kilby | 11/08/2016 at 06:31 PM
My parents didn't give me a middle name, forcing me to go with what I've got (which is off-putting to some folks because it seems pretentious) or its diminutive, "Woody," which is a ridiculous fit on a 70 year old man. I loved them dearly, of course, but I don't think I've ever forgiven them for that.
Posted by: Sherwood | 11/10/2016 at 03:22 PM