Between Friends eases into a storyline that reminds us that the term "helicopter parent" came into vogue through its use by college administrators.
I say "eases into" because, while the strip does have well-defined story arcs, it also has a type of continuity that absorbs these stories into the overall setting. Sandra Bell Lundy works in a way that gives the strip a level of growth that feels very natural.
Because the main characters are three women who are long-time best friends but don't live or work together, she's not obligated to constantly drag out every element of every character. Often, they are interacting, but, just as often, they're dealing with their own things, as here.
This creates so many different settings that she doesn't have to work in ever-present elements, the way "Blondie" will often place Daisy the dog in a frame even when she has no role in the story.
Sandra did give Danny a bit of a growth spurt at a point that seems recent but probably wasn't, to help set up some new issues for Kim to deal with, and here we are with the young man about to head off to university.
It looks like Kim is going to have to repress her urge to know what's going on, and I'm looking forward to an element that, if things hold true, will be a story arc now but a continuing element in the strip throughout the future.
Letting go, and getting clear, was much easier 150 or so years ago. When Irish emigrated in the 19th century, there was something called "an American wake" thrown for them, as final a farewell as a real wake, since there was no expectation that they would ever return in any form more substantial than a letter.
I was kind of surprised, in reading "The Virginian" (1902) that, when the title character becomes engaged to the local school teacher, she brings him home to New England to meet her family. Then again, one element of the novel is that she is a fish out of water on the Western Plains and perhaps a bit unable to cut the cord, not to mention having the family money to be able to pop back for a visit.
College has always represented a new start. Growing up and becoming responsible is the central theme of "Tom Brown at Oxford" (1861) and its near-clone, "Stover at Yale" (1912), as well as "This Side of Paradise" (1920), which followed both perhaps too closely.
My own experience included phone calls and letters that began on a weekly basis but trailed off, not because I was particularly homesick at the start but because, at the start, I was simply more dedicated to the task of staying in touch regularly.
However, it's quite true that, within a very few weeks, "home" became where I was, rather than where I was from.
One conflict we students had over the university's insistence on acting in loco parentis was that they would send grades to our parents rather than to us, which meant that, if professors weren't fast and forthcoming, you could get a phone call inquiring about grades you hadn't seen yet.
Still, while we endeavored to cut the metaphorical cord, the technological one gave us some autonomy: Your parents could phone you all they wanted, but, if you weren't home, they wouldn't reach you. Or even an answering machine.
Times change. Technology changes. And we change.
I had a niece who served with the Peace Corps in Thailand a few years ago. Serving in the Peace Corps used to be like going to the moon, but she not only had a blog and chances to Skype with family, but her parents went over and visited her.
She has said that the whole connectivity thing is an issue between the old Peace Corps vets and the new generation, but convinced me that it's important to recognize that serving in the Peace Corps is not an opportunity to play historical re-enactor -- either in the Peace Corps' own history or in that of the place you are stationed.
Her village in Thailand was fairly remote and wouldn't be mistaken for Beverly Hills, but it had Internet access. It was, after all, the 21st Century, and she was there to provide educational assistance to a modern, rural village, not to help them remain stuck in the past.
As for the visits, overseas travel used to be a once-in-a-lifetime experience. That's true, but it's no longer the case, is it? It's a little late to insist that, if God wanted people to fly to Thailand, he'd have given them wings.
Although, if her parents want to stalk her, they'd better grow some, since she's currently in South Africa.
Yesterday, I noted that our ability to get reports not just from the major networks and wire services but from Twitter and Facebook and the rest, makes it easier to find information but puts an additional burden on us to learn to evaluate it for ourselves.
Similarly, the term "cutting the cord" has changed in a cordless world.
When Danny goes off to university, even if he were to enroll at Memorial or UBC to put some highway between them, his parents will still be able to flip open the cell phone and find him pretty much at their pleasure.
And that's not the only technological challenge to growth he'll be facing.
Previous generations arrived on campus alone and had the chance to create a new post-high-school identity, and, upon leaving college, to repeat the process, leaving behind their college personna and forging a new adult identity.
Today, they arrive not only with their parents on speed-dial but with 1,000 Facebook friends looking over their shoulders, reinforcing the person they have been for the past half-dozen years, and then, when they graduate, all those Solo-cup-selfies come traipsing along after them.
Unless he chooses otherwise, but that is a choice which requires effort, discipline and some technical awareness.
First lesson in growing up, Danny, is that technology makes everything easier.
Except growing up.
Our families up here are very close-knit normally and have always been. I remember getting quite a shock when I read somewhere that after US kids move away for college or university that they wouldn't as a matter of course come home for every holiday and possibly move back home when the school finished before getting their own lodgings.
Posted by: hildigunnur | 06/04/2013 at 11:51 AM