A perfect time to run into a simple, small, non-cosmic bit of humor from Hilary Price at Rhymes with Orange.
I'm sick of issues and need a bit of whimsy.
The mission of this blog includes the idea that all good cartoons invoke truth, but, thank goodness, some truths are weightier than others.
As are some crates. When a school group gets together with the Indian River folks and sells cases of grapefruits, there is a quality issue that both the school group and the growers take pretty seriously. They would like this fundraiser to be successful again next year, and so it's worth making sure that the grapefruits they sell are more than simply "not crappy" and "not moldy" but actually of very good quality.
What a concept.
The clementine people, on the other hand, work on the theory that, if it's cute and cheap, you won't expect much. (There's a dating joke in there that I have no intention of touching.)
I've seen clementines for as much as $6.99 and as little as $4.99 and, as far as I can tell, there is no connection between cost and quality.
As Hilary says, it's a total crapshoot. You know that you are buying 18 or 20 little tiny oranges for about six bucks, and the trick is that you won't know the unit cost until you find out how many of them are any good.
What other consumer product do you buy thinking, "Gosh, I hope these don't all suck?"
If only 10 of them are good, you just bought little tiny oranges for sixty cents a pop. If you somehow manage to get 20 good ones (not gonna happen), that cuts it to thirty cents. But if they all turn out to be dry and pithy (that indeed might happen), well then you got ripped off completely.
Think of it as a scratch-off ticket that you peel.
And, just like the scratch-off fans, keep telling yourself, "I usually break even."
Sure you do.
What you need to not think of it as is a slick corporate variation on the old grumpy-grocer's dodge of packaging four pieces of fruit together, one of which is clearly crappy. Or putting the cut of meat fat-and-gristle side down on the foam tray.
And while we're on the topic, not only does a whole lot more quality control go into those cases of Indian River grapefruit, but, when you finish them, you have a cardboard box that recycles easily. Clementine boxes always make me feel like I should probably own a woodstove, which I don't.
I would also note that the ones that come in plastic mesh bags cost the same as the ones that come in cute little pretend fruit crates, and I find it very hard to believe that the packaging and shipping cost is the same.
So that's the point of a funny little cartoon like today's: You look, you laugh, you think about it, you start getting really pissed off.
Good old Hilary Price.