I never metacommentary I didn't like

Between Friends bemoans what is, IMHO, not the degradation of our culture so much as the revelation of it.

I suspect we've always had roughly the same total number of brain cells globally, but simply weren't hearing from everyone.

Think of it as a liquid, once kept in a tall vase with a narrow neck, the exposed surface representing the moderated voices of yore. Now the liquid has been poured out on a wide platter, representing the Internet, where everyone has a voice.

It's much more democratic, but all so terribly shallow.

Help! I'm trapped in a labyrinth of Hallmark cards!

I'll bet only the most sensitive and sincere of my friends will share this.

And, also on the topic of our collective brain cells, On The Fastrack notes the gullibility of workers and the potential damage their foolishness can wreak on corporate systems.

Whether it's clicking on stupid ads or falling for stupid OMG! things on Facebook, for every little Dutch boy charged with stopping the leaks, there are a million of the gullible drilling holes in the dike to see what's out there.

God bless'em, I think they're financing the Internet just as surely as their lottery tickets help lower my taxes.

I have been noticing over the past few months that, due to a continuing and nearly ineffectual assault by spambots, my hits are about two or three times what they were six months ago.

I can see the source on my little globe up there in the corner, and I can also see way too many hits occurring one after another on my log. But you can't blame a bot for trying, nor can I block it. Keeping it from succeeding is good enough.

The interesting thing is that Google Analytics seems to be falling for the idea that about two-thirds of these hits are real. This doesn't do much for my bounce rate (the average amount of time a visitor spends on the site), but it does jack up my overall traffic count.

In previous spambot assaults, I've had big numbers for about six to 12 hours, after which the counters recognize the bot hits and readjust the reported numbers downward accordingly.

Not this time, possibly because the bots this time are so persistent.

Whatever the reason, it means I'm finally showing numbers that would make this blog eligible to sign up with a banner ad distributor and make a little more cash.

The ads would be garbage, of course, about how language professors hate this guy and how this (your state here) housewife makes a kabillion dollars a year working from home and the five warning signs of a heart attack you can get for free simply by not noticing that you've just subscribed to an expensive and worthless newsletter.

Raising the question of why so few legitimate companies participate in these banner ad programs?

Could it be that they know that all online numbers are inflated by spambots?

And is that why they say that it takes about three years for a blog to establish itself -- because it takes that long for the spam bots to find you and latch on?

And do the scammers know the numbers are garbage and simply not care? 

That is, are they like Nigerian widows, not needing a lot of replies, just a few from some really gullible pigeons, and so are willing to pay for banner ads despite knowing the traffic numbers are bogus?

Inquiring minds want to know.

This is not likely to change, by the way, because, as the Flying McCoys note, the damn things breed like guppies.

Meanwhile, the few, the discerning, wander in Arctic Circles like solitary, endangered wolverines.

For instance, Alex Hallatt would obviously be my one, true soul mate except for the minor complications that she's married, half my age, way too much of a fitness buff and lives on, quite literally, the opposite side of the globe. 

We're doomed. The vase is shattered, long live the platter.

Comments

[Alex Hallatt]

I didn't figure you for a eighty six year old....

Married? Eek, no! But I do have a lovely boyfriend of eight years (the relationship, not the boyfriend...).

Alex (in the UK for now...)

[Mike Peterson]

So, basically, I got it all right except for your age, marital status and position on the globe.

That's about par for the course around here.

(Actually, I knew it was more like 2/3rds my age, but guys my age do not see that as a particular barrier. Something about approaching that spot on the time continuum where "Hope springs eternal" gives way to "There's no fool like an old fool.")

[Mary in Ohio]

I hate to interrupt with some grade school science here: I don't know if this is a plus or a minus, but the evaporation rate from a platter is much faster than from a vase. Of course, that just leaves the scum, I guess. Never mind. Carry on. Mind the gap!

[gezorkin]

One nit -- I don't believe lotteries lower anyone's taxes. They do, however, enrich the lottery companies.

[Levi]

You ought to look into Project Wonderful if you want ads that aren't garbage. It might just be perfect for your purposes, since most of the people who buy ads on it are cartoonists.

[Suzii]

Mostly unrelated question that's been on my mind for a few days: Since "Nigerian" is already taken what word describes a citizen of Niger?

[Mike Peterson]

I do think lotteries lower taxes somewhat, the scam being the idea that schools or open space or whatever gets more money because of them. When appropriations time comes, their needs are assessed with the income from lotteries as part of the mix, so they get whatever they would have gotten anyway. But those of us who don't play the games pay less in taxes as a result.

Nigerien, but rather than NIE-Jeer-EE-an, it's Neezhereen. Here's my favorite:
http://www.esthergarvi.org/2012/10/24/a-happy-birthday/

[Mike Peterson]

Project Wonderful is a possibility, though my point was more about the bogosity of the numbers. But at least the 27 actual, real people who visit presumably like comics.

They also like bananas, but primarily for the inherent humor. An ad that promised to reveal "Five Foods You Should Never Step On" might be appropriate.